Just me on my journey through the most important 20 pounds lost of my life.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


HW: 185
CW: 152

First GW: 148 (April 16)
Second GW: 145 (April 21)
Third GW: 142 (April 26)
Forth GW: 138 (May 3)
Fifth GW: 135 (May 8)
Sixth GW: 130 (May 15)

I am so proud of myself.

I almost passed out walking from my room to the washroom so I decided I needed to eat something today, even though I was fasting. But I wanted it to be very tight knit, controlled, very little, just enough.
So I decided to munch a bit on what my mom was making for dinner : beef, cream sauce, and rice.
Well I'm vegan now, so I can't have cream or beef, so I just got a couple spoonfuls of rice, covered it in spices and lemon, and ate that bit with 3 or 4 glasses of water.
I am completely full! I am so proud of myself for keeping perspective with the food :)
Tomorrow I start Ana Boot Camp!
Very excited~*

My mom is cooking dinner.

Saying no is always kindof difficult. Especially when she gives me that look like "what're you gonna eat if you don't eat this? you are starving yourself arn't you?"
Maybe that's just the guilt of lying to her projected or something. She just keeps accusing me of having an eating disorder and I keep denyingdenyingdenying for my life so I feel like I'm lying, well I guess I am just flat out lying eh. :(

BTW I'm 153! So I am definitely going to meet my goal of 152 by April 12th~ I mean after binging my weight is up a pound but it's all water I'm sure so after fasting today It'll all be good. It's so nice to see myself finally really progressing.

So as opposed to what my stupid post yesterday said, I binged.

but it's alright.
Fasting today, then tomorrow I start abc. I'm ready.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Food log:

I want to eat about 500 cals today. Maybe a bit more nothing over 700 though. Just want to keep from binging and keep losing lbs.

What I've eaten so far:
1 boiled egg
a pack of carnation breakfast and milk
collectively about 200 cals~

So I'll aim for about 300 more, prolly at my friend's house which may be kindof hard since they all eat so much all dang day but I can do it :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

So I broke my fast, though it has been at least 24 hours I am still kindof disappointed. I ate some salad.
About 100 cals I'd say.
I just had stomach pain so awful I needed something other than diet soda and sugar free jello.
Tomarrow I am allotting myself 500 cals. Ill eat ramen more than likely.
Pretty dang proud of myself, if even a bit disappointed :)

But either way I am hitting 500 cals a day Saturday and Sunday until I start ABC on Monday with others in the PT forums.
Guess it's my prep for Ana boot Camp lol~

Thinspo for the rest of the night